Saturday, August 8, 2009

Pissed Off

So hey, I just want to give a huge " Fuck you very much" to whoever decided to send my mom that " anonymous" email that included a link to my fetish store. That was really awesome of you. I put the " anonymous" in quotes because apparently some people don't realize that when you use the company electronic stationary it usually has an electronic signature on it. You should remember that for future reference, idiot. And worst of all, what were you doing looking at a fetish porn site anyway? Explain that one...

You know, it wasn't like I was never going to tell my mom. I mean, shit, it's not porn. I have a freaking lipstick fetish! The worst I have done is give my guy a lipstick blowjob. But how bad is that, really? He's not some stranger. I'm not getting paid ( by him, at least, lol). Putting a penis in my mouth isn't my daytime job. This is something we do on our own time in our own privacy, and hey, if someone wants to pay to see that, they can go right ahead and do so. I have no issues with it. That's just me though.

No, I did not want my mom to see that, of course. Which is why you will now find those clips in my members area only, for now. Thank God she is being cool about it... so far. To be honest, I feel like it's only a matter of time before this goes from, " It's cool, you aren't doing anything bad anyway" to " You're a stupid fucking whore get out of my house!". And that's alright. I was making my exit anyway. I just don't want it to be like that. Can I ever just go with a smile? Does is always have to end in a fight? Granted, none of this has happened, yet. But if history is bound to repeat itself ( and it is) then I have a few weeks, tops, before things start going crazy.

I don't know, I guess I am just disappointed. I didn't want my mom to find out this way. This was something I wanted to tell her, on my own time and my own terms. Having that choice taken away from me has really pissed me off. I am not some stupid teenager that needs looking after. I am an adult now, free to make my own choices and do what I want with myself and my life. I think I can handle it. This wasn't even about telling my mom so she could come save me or whatever. This was more to point out what a " loser" I am, something to embarrass my mom with and laugh at. Guess what though? No one really cares. So it backfired, in a way. I won't forget this though. No I won't.

The cat is out of the bag though, so that's cool. I just don't want to talk about it anymore. I had to come and vent real quick, because if I didn't it was going to eat me up inside. And I don't digest very well...


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